It was the 2nd day of the year 2019. I was on deputation in Amsterdam, Netherlands. My wife was on a life support system for the past 15 days after being detected with blood cancer about six months ago.


The panel of doctors called me in for an urgent meeting. What they were about to tell me was the last thing I would have ever wanted to hear. 

They said -

"We are very concerned about your wife's condition and are running out of options to treat her. We are afraid she might not get through it."

I had tears in my eyes. For the first time, I felt close to losing my partner and the mother of my 2-year-old. I suddenly saw myself imagining my life without her which seemed like a bad dream.


I went home to bring my stuff so I could stay in the hospital as I was finally allowed to. While I was on my way back, I got a call from the hospital and was asked to reach the hospital as soon as possible.


After reaching the hospital, I asked the doctor what was wrong. I could see he was about to say something that might be very worrying.

"Her organs are starting to shut down", he said. "She may not have much time left. Treating her further only increases her suffering. You may have to decide to allow her to go".


I didn't want her to suffer. Hence, I asked them to do what is best for her.

I held her hand for the last time while the life support system was being switched off. I witnessed her last breath making its way out just before midnight.

Suddenly, I found myself in grief, not knowing what to expect. It was much harder than I expected. I was desperately looking for validation of the roller coaster emotions I was witnessing, for years to come. I tried to find a bereavement/ grief coach to help me out, but I could not find one.

I figured out the tough way of navigating the unexpected terrain of grief. Over time, I learned, Grief needs to be witnessed but unfortunately, there is hardly any support available apart from friends and family, who themselves find incapable to help us.

In honour of my beloved wife, I took this mission to provide my service to every grievers so they can cope with the loss of their loved ones and remember them with more love than pain.

I know, I cannot take their pain but I hope to reduce their suffering...

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HTC community and coaching conversations involve discussing the loss of a loved one, but it is not a substitute for therapy or group therapy. It is important to seek professional help if necessary and we encourage that when we find the need.


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